Glacier National Park: The Untrue Story
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Dear Journal,
We left Kayla last attempting to escape a bird refuge where her evil parenting unit known as "Mother" attempted to make her learn. Kayla managed to escape, thus preserving her ignorance. But, on her way out, "Mother" and sibling unit "Alex" recaptured her, and are taking her to Glacier National Park.
August 13, 2009
On the way to Glacier National Park, parenting unit "Mother" once again attempted to rid her life of Kayla. At a Huckleberry Stand, she purchased a bag of huckleberries and presented them to Kayla. "Mother" also added a few drops of deadly poison to the bag. Little did "Mother" know that Kayla had created an immunity to said poison by adding a safe amount of it to her own food prior to the huckleberry incident. "Mother" was amazed (and very disappointed) when Kayla gobbled up the berries and wasn’t in the least bit sick. Although "Mother" was not pleased by the outcome of the huckleberry incident, she thought up a new plan to get rid of Kayla once and for all.
Still on the way to Glacier National Park, "Mother", "Alex" and Kayla came across a rampage of bison. "Mother" requested that Kayla take a picture of them. Noticing the danger of the raging animals outside the car, Kayla refused. But upon being offered 5$ by "Mother," Kayla finds it difficult to refuse. With camera in hand, Kayla pokes her head out the sun roof of the car. She pushes her entire body up so that she is standing on the roof.
Horrid bison snarl brutally around her. Kayla takes a few pictures, as "Mother" laughs and begins to close the sun roof. Noticing the problem, Kayla, holding the sun roof in one hand and the camera in the other, pushes back with inhuman strength. She opens it enough to slide through, and returns the camera to her dismayed parenting unit and redeems her money.
August 14, 2009
We still have not arrived in Glacier National Park, but parenting unit "Mother" is still devising a plan to get rid of Kayla in a horrible sort of way. Although Kayla would be perfectly happy to return to her hometown in New York, that is a much too pleasant and simple fate for her. No, "Mother" must think up a more drastic way to rid Kayla from her life, one that will get rid of Kayla forever.
On the way, "Mother" noticed a road-side stop that could possibly fulfill her goal to get rid of Kayla. The roadside attraction was called Bear Adventure. Upon entering, we noticed numerous "Danger" and "Enter at your own risk" signs. Another sign declared that our car was our cage, and it most certainly was!
Vicious, man-eating bears surrounded our car. 
Although there were many signs that said that we were not allowed to open our windows, "Mother" ignored them and rolled down her window to get a better picture. She "accidentally" dropped her camera case out the window, and asked Kayla to get it for her like in the bison incident. Kayla refused, but when "Mother" offered her money, Kayla could not refuse.
As Kayla climbed out the car, "Mother" slipped a Huckleberry-Honey sandwich in Kayla’s back pocket. Kayla retrieved the camera case, and slipped it through the window which "Mother" quickly closed. As Kayla made her way around the front of the car, three bears made their way towards her. They sniffed the air then walked towards Kayla. With a low growl the bears charged.
Surprised, Kayla growled back. The bears all threw their sharp claws at Kayla. She fought back. Unfortunately, for the bears, they were boy Grizzlies and Kayla kicked them in the groin. As the bears fell to the floor in pain, Kayla slipped into the car.
"Mother" was dumbstruck as Kayla sat down she felt a squishy thing in her back pocket. She reached in to find a sandwich. With a pleased look on her face, she gobbled it down.
Later that day, upon arriving at Glacier National Park, "Mother" formed another diabolical plan to dispose of Kayla with the potential benefit of losing sibling unit "Alex" also. Originally, "Mother" planned to tire us to death on a hike, but at the trail head she noticed a sign. It said to beware of flying squirrels. This gave her a plan that was certainly ten times more malicious.
As we made our way through the Trail of the Cedars, we noticed that it was teeming with life. The rainforest was also very wet. It is very curious that there should be a rainforest in Northwest America, but there was … laughing, a cackling laugh. "Mother" stepped to the side of the trail. She announce that she was taking a picture of some uprooted trees, and for us to go one up ahead.
We went on ahead a bit, then stopped to wait for "Mother." About ten minutes later, "Mother" came by and was dismayed to discover that "Alex" and Kayla were completely unscathed. Although there were plenty of ground squirrels everywhere, we saw no flying squirrels.
August 15, 2009
Today, Parent Unit "Mother" did not try to specifically kill Kayla (although the opportunities were plentiful.) No, she has become much wiser through the previous attempts.
She has realized that Kayla is much too amazing, witty, brawny, perspicacious, and savvy. Furthermore, the author of this book has realized that it is easier and faster to pretend that today was a normal day and she wants to go fishing and her Parent Unit "Mother" said she could not fish until she finished catching up her journal up to the current day (an obvious attempt at boring Kayla to death.) So, here we go with a fake "normal" journal entry.
Today, we went on the Road To The Sun. It was awfully windy and extremely dangerous. We went to a Visitor Center where we watched a movie and did Junior Ranger programs. We also saw bighorn sheep on the side of the road. They were walking around like it’s nobody’s business.
August 16, 2009
We are still pretending that Kayla’s days are normal so she can go fly fishing sooner. Sooo here it goes.
Today we went on a hike from Logan’s Pass. It was very foggy, it was like we were in a cloud (which we were.) It also rained a lot. We saw a mountain goat. It was really cute. It actually came up to us!
August 17, 2009
Today, we went on a boat trip. We crossed two lakes to get to the place where we went for a hike. It was a naturalist guided hike. We saw a pretty waterfall. We also had to cross a bridge.
It was the kind of bridge that shakes when you walk on it, and only holds one person at a time. Everyone held the rails and walked slowly and stumbled a lot. I power walked down the center, holding no rails, and not stumbling once. At the same time, Alex shook the bridge from the other end. That just shows how strong I am.
This post is for the 2009 Blog Action Day on Climate Change.
Blog Action Day:
- Blog Action Day Pollution Story (2007)
- Blog Action Day Poverty (2008)
